Total Together

“He is not my son!” my father would shout. “Are you accusing me of infidelity?” my mother would shoot back. This often marked the beginning of a heated argument that would last for days. I knew there wouldn’t be any peace. I was aware at a young age that I was gay, and I was conscious of why there were fights—it was because of me. “He is a curse. We are punished for our sins.” This is the sad belief of many Zimbabwean communities.    I hated myself and yearned for peace and to just be invisible. I was so afraid of someone mentioning the term gay that, whenever it came up, I would freeze. Did my family have any idea as to how bad it was, what their fighting was doing to me, and what implications this would have in my life? Acting like a heterosexual, I pretended to have a girlfriend so that no one around me would see that I was gay. However, no matter how many times and how much I tried to conceal it, my true self would always find a crevice to escape through and expose me. Rel...

I used to be afraid of embracing the true nature of myself not realizing that I hold magic in my feet.  The unshelled individual who not only is unapologetic but vigorous towards life and its beauty. Slapped down many a time by the community and family, but with agility I always rise. The world view of Africa is driven by stories of war, homophobia, xenophobia and HIV. Right now, gay people are telling stories of loving, thriving, and living beautiful vibrant lives, creating a feeling that gay lives are worthy of happiness. I realize that my life is more than my sexuality, but the main aim is to contribute to a world where other fellow gay people see themselves reflected in ways that capture a full range of their human experience: the rainbow experience. I was rejected and asked to move out when I was 15 years old. Since then, I have been independent. I didn’t have a beautiful childhood. I went through marginalization as a child. I have seen quite a lot as a child as I never had an...